One of the hardest things about signing on the line and committing to this adoption was the thought that I would have to leave my other kids at home while we travel to meet Gideon and bring him home. This thought held me back longer than any other objection in my mind. Money? God can provide that. Money is no big deal to our God. Paperwork? We can write till our hands cramp (and we have!) The challenges of parenting an older, post-institutionalized child with disabilities? Well, yeah, that could be a biggie, too, but we already love him so much, and we are going to take that day by day, and we trust God. That fact was not enough to deter me from signing up to be Gideon's mom. No, the one thing that I kept getting stuck on was the travel.
Now, I have always dreamed of traveling. I have even specifically longed to travel to Eastern Europe. It is one of my life-long goals to see the world, or at least finally get out of the good old USA for at least a peek at the rest of the world. But I was thinking of after my kids are grown and gone, or maybe taking them with me. But now I have fallen in love with a child in a country that requires both parents to be in their country for at least two weeks, and then to return home or stay in country while we wait at least two more weeks, and then for at least one parent to return to that country again for probably another two weeks, before they will finally let me take the new love of my life home with me. And that means leaving the other three loves of my life behind. For weeks.
Oh, how I wrestled with this situation! I spend basically every moment of every day with my children. I left them overnight, once or twice. That's it. We are a very close family. Two weeks? Maybe three? Perhaps six? Oh, no no no no. You've got to be kidding me! How can I do this to them?
So I prayed and prayed about this one issue, at least as much as any other, before we finally decided to commit to this adoption. And the Lord gave me enough peace that we have decided to go ahead with it. After all, my three kids have had me for years. Every moment of every day for years. And Gideon? He's had nobody. Day after day, for years.
So when I think of my boy, waiting, alone, I know what I must do. I will go. I will leave three of my most precious treasures at home so that I can go all the way to the other end of the world to claim my other most precious treasure.
And I have been praying about where, exactly, my darlings will be, who will take care of them, while we are away. And then I got a phone call. Before I even had to ask anybody, my darling, lovely mom called me up and offered to come and stay with my kids for as long as we need them to! Praise the Lord! My parents are willing to drop everything, whenever our travel date arrives, drive eight hours from their home to ours, take on our three lively little dumplings, homeschool them, and keep up with the farm chores, and they are happy to do it! They are looking forward to the chance to bond with the kids, and they are going to do a great job with it all! They may want to sleep for a week when it is over, but I have complete faith in them!
It just gives me so much peace to have that piece of the puzzle fall into place. I will miss my kids, for sure, but at least I know we have a plan. A good plan! Our kids will be able to stay in our home, and stay in their routine, and stay with grandparents who adore them. Do I want to leave them? Of course not. But at least now I feel that it is possible! Thanks to two sweet, loving grandparents who are willing to make it possible!