Five Years

Happy Birthday to my precious boy!  

Gideon turned five years old today.  

Five years ago today a beautiful baby boy was born in Eastern Europe.  His parents . . . who were they?  We don't know.  My heart goes out to his birth mother today.  I wonder if she remembers him.  I wonder if she had big dreams for him.  I wonder how it all happened . . . how he ended up being left alone.  In an orphanage.  I wonder so many things.  In a couple of months I will hear the information in Gideon's file, and maybe I will learn the answers.  Or maybe not even then.  That is just how things go when adopting from Gideon's country.  


I wonder what Gideon's day was like today.  I have been praying for him all day, praying that somebody would show him a bit of love and kindness today.  Praying that God would wrap my boy in His loving arms today and sustain him for a while longer.  Praying that God would whisper into Gideon's heart to hang on just a bit longer.  That He would whisper, "Your mommy and daddy are coming, dear one!"  


Gideon is a mystery to me:  a child I have never held, never kissed, never laid eyes on.  I don't know his voice.  I don't know how big he is.  I don't know all that much about him at all.  Yet I love him.  I love this boy so much, and he does not even know we exist.  

But God willing, this will be the 

last birthday that he spends alone.  

Today I spent his birthday driving around town, begging convincing various people to write letters and fill out forms to move our adoption along.  I bought some little toys for him.  I sent out more emails to try to move things along (paperwork things that just are not moving along . . . arrgg!)  I finished up the editing on a little video I've been putting together to show people what our adoption is all about (stay tuned . . . it will be ready to share very soon!)  I sanded the drywall mud down in Gideon's new bedroom.  I prayed for him a lot.  And I found myself in tears off and on throughout the day.  Five birthdays I've missed.  It is enough to break a mommy's heart.  No child should be alone on his birthday.  

And then to end the day, I took my kids to a birthday party.  A little friend of theirs just turned four years old.  Yep, my son's birthday most likely passed unnoticed, and we were at another child's party.  I feel like I betrayed Gideon somehow.  It was a very nice party, by the way, and a good distraction . . . but still. 

And his birthday puzzle?  Lots of pieces left unsponsored.  Thank you, again, to all of you who have sponsored Gideon's adoption!  It is so appreciated!  If anybody else would like to show their love for one small boy in Eastern Europe, please consider sponsoring a puzzle piece.